This is a wonderful spoof, which clearly was created to
humiliate those that are rather too gullible for their own good. It first appeared in
THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: (the
forward to end all forwards)
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
Make a wish...
STOP!!!! Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great
scroll scroll scroll
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you
will be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile
of manure. it's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those
fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
*20 to 674, 951 people: 20 to 674, 951 people will be mad at you for sending
them a stupid chain letter.
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You
see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no
arms, no legs, no head, no parents, and no goats.
This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this
on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Headless
Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of
counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out, Send this to
5 people in the next 47 seconds.
Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will
die instantly. Oh and by the way this boy does not have a computer and he has
no way to even know you did it. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence
This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not
as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.
So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes
or something horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of raw
sewage, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,
she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it.
Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died.
Their families were so upset that anyone even remotely related to them (even
by marriage) went crazy and spent the rest of their miserable lives in an
institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip
Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send
it to every one of your friends.
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a refuse from a
rotting garbage dump
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be attacked by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of manure,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the
check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the cleaning
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish
of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by
Microsoft to test its e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big
high-tech company like Microsoft always sends important new software out over
the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a computer,
Plus, they have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to
give up millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this
e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows someone that looked at it, or is
related to someone who is a friend of someone who looks at it A FREE,
ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney!
So pass this on to everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this
(or not)! Even if it's not true,hey-insulting all of your friends by implying
that they are gullible by sending this to them is worth the improbable chance
that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your friends because
they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you, it's worth the chance,
And just for good measure, if you don't send this on, Microsoft will send its
specially trained attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your
family, SO SEND IT ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6: VIRUS WARNING!!!
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes,"
delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It
will not only erase everything on your hard drive,but it will also delete
anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your
ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your
refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk
curdles. It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's
number. And so on and so forth...So be careful! |
Forward this to all of your friends, relatives, neighbors, family, enemies,
plumbers, garbagemen, stock brokers, doctors, and any other acquaintances
Chain Letter Type 7: Here is a cute picture I
( \ / )
( /<>\ )
( / \/ \ )
/ \ __
( ) ( )
It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it will
brighten their day like it did yours!
If you don't, demon-possessed goats will move into your house and eat all of
your socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your washing
machine because all of your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the
seven main types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to
get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all,
please don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!
If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and
forward it. Thanks!
Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a
chain letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if
it's gonna make people feel guilty (I.e. the goatless boy from
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (I.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a
waterfall of raw sewage) just delete it. Do everyone a favor!!!
STOP THE JUNK I-MAIL RAGE!!!
Have a nice day : )
If you receive a message about this then please ignore it and don't pass it on as this only serves to propagate